Kyra Goldman Music

I’ve always been a peacemaker personality. I’m pretty forgiving and pretty compassionate, and I usually try to give other people the benefit of the doubt. I have always been a “good girl.” I’ve never really gone through a rebellious stage and I always did well in school.  

Though I enjoy doing nice things for people, I tear up about stories of kindness, I try to listen to other people’s viewpoints and speak gently, and my spirituality is very important to me- it became apparent that fear was masquerading itself in my life as if it were just sweetness.

Growing up, I remember my mom saying to me she was a little concerned about my not standing up for myself. She recounted that as a toddler, if another child ripped a toy out of my hands I would just go on and play with something else, and not cry like most children would. So apparently this non-confrontational, peace-making personality trait goes back a ways.

I don’t know exactly how, but somehow in my life, I picked up the notion that direct confrontation with people is rude. It’s much more polite to either indirectly imply your discontent about how someone has treated you (even though nobody ever seems to pick up on those hints) or just be silently frustrated until you can get over it on your own. If you get angry, it’s better to keep it in so as not to offend the offender and make the situation worse.

On top of that, as a Christian, I would tell myself, “If I just keep showing love to this person, who is treating me badly, eventually they will recognize how loving I am being and they will change their behavior.” I was convinced I was doing the right thing- even thinking of scriptures like “turn the other cheek” and “a gentle answer turns away wrath.” I would think of the love chapter in Corinthians that says love is patient and love is kind and love does not hold a record of wrongs. So I applied that to my life by patiently waiting out someone’s selfishness and manipulation, by continuing to be kind to them despite it, and continuing to keep forgiving them and make excuses for them 70 x 7.

Unfortunately, that did not work out well for me. Over the years I have had more and more body pains and I noticed I was repeating the same scenarios with a series of toxic friendships. I would give and give and the other person would take. And all that time I would be praying for these people, “Lord, heal the heart of this person. Reveal yourself to them, show them your love, heal the broken places, and help me to be a good representative of your love to them.” But nothing was changing! And I noticed that all these people would go on their merry way continuing their bad behavior and somehow I was the one who was suffering!

And finally, (and recently) I reached my breaking point. Everyone has a breaking point and that is a good thing! Just like they say that an addicted person is either going to die, go crazy or make a decision to change and go to rehab- I finally hit that same point and I said, “I am either going to die because the continual hurt is manifesting itself in my body, or I’m gonna go crazy, or I’m gonna change something. I’ve been trying to protect other people and be continually kind to the point of not protecting myself or being kind to myself. Who is looking out for me?”

I have always stuggled with having a backbone. But after a straw that broke the camel’s back, suddenly I have one! It took many years, but I got there! But all of a sudden, I am not afraid to say what’s true. I almost want to climb up on my roof with a loud speaker and say, “Listen up, world! This is who I am, this is what I believe in and this is how I live. If you have anything to say about it-or you have a list of criticisms for me, or if you plan to manipulate or use me- prepare yourself for a confrontation because I am not afraid of what you think or how you react anymore! God is my judge!”

Maybe that’s why older people often just say it like it is- because, honestly, you learn you have more to lose in holding everything in than in saying what is true! And it doesn’t help the person who is being abusive for you to go around pretending like they don’t have a problem. That really isn’t the loving thing because an abusive person has something inside of them that is hurting them- and if never dealt with, is going to ruin their life. They need to come to their own breaking point- and you letting them be a little isolated may help them get there.

As for being a Christian: Scriptures can be pulled out of context one by one, but you have to look at the whole picture and within the context that you have a relationship with God. He can lead you from moment to moment on what to do. If pulling one scripture out leaves you condemned and free to be abused, you can bet the interpretation is wrong because God is not into making you feel like a worthless worm. The enemy is into making you feel that way.

Yes, the scripture does say to forgive 70 x 7 and it does say turn the other cheek. But it also says, if a brother is overtaken in a fault to confront them in meekness, and at the same time, consider yourself so you don’t fall into the same temptation. That’s not pointing out splinters in someone’s eye when you have a beam in your own but that is getting splinters out of both of your eyes in a humble way. And if that person is not willing to deal with the splinter, then you can leave them. Maybe you can turn your other cheek in the opposite direction, and start heading that way, lol.

We have to love ourselves enough to not let other people pull us into a hole with them. You can say, “I love you, but I also love myself and I have to back away from this situation.”

I am not planning on changing that I’m a peace-maker. I still care about people very much. I still like to do kind things. I still pray for people when they don’t know it and I’ll still try to view people from a place of compassion. But I’m learning that showing true love means having His love for youself first- cause you can’t give what you don’t have. We are supposed to be changing into His likeness and He is not letting Himself be abused. He will judge evil. And the fact is, He loves you even if everyone on earth acts like you’re worth nothing. We have to get our confidence from Him because the world doesn’t have true love to offer. They can’t give what they don’t have either.

But I pray this for myself and for you that we are able to stop and ask God to show us His love for us. Help us to be filled up so we can give out the true Love that the world needs. They really will be changed by True Love and not by any substitute. I ask Him to heal all of our broken places and disappointments and frustrations and replace them with hope for our futures and peace and joy, In Jesus’ name, Amen! (303)

If you didn’t already know, Atlanta has a great spoken word poetry scene. The cool thing is- there are a lot of Kingdom-minded poets, too, with good words to stir your soul! (Nations the Scribe, Ebonie Marie, Lewon Johnson, Lady Queen, Lady Zion, Theresa Johnson and Sistah Sepia, to name a few.)

Anyway- somebody just posted about this event called, “Tongues of Fire” at First Baptist Church of Lilburn this Friday night, Feb. 8th. Here’s the flyer:

 I think it’s mostly a poetry thing, so here’s a good chance to catch some Kingdom poetry- but I’m not sure what artists are on the line up. I would check it out, if not for a conflicting event, but if you can go, I hope you do! It’s free. Yay for free!

< Go Back Home (147)

Remember when you were a kid and you’d pretend you were on TV like that Jim Carrey movie, The Truman Show? (Did everyone do that as a kid? Or just me and my weird artist friends?) Well, now that you’re an adult you can go ahead and pretend the whole world is watching you again, because you never know- they just might be.

Since I am in the Christian/Gospel genre, my audience is mostly church-folk. A lot of times I say things on stage that are meant for that audience- and sometimes I notice that several people are filming me on their phones. Then I say to myself, “Self! You’ve got to remember your audience is not just the people in this room.”

I don’t really like that because it means a little less liberty- it means being a little less personal on stage. Once filmed, videos have legs and they can go just about anywhere. I’m still getting used to it because when I first started doing concerts I don’t remember anyone filming me. But now I can count on it! That’s the world we live in. Almost everyone has a tiny camera.  

So, if you are a speaker or musician here’s a little wisdom:

- Don’t say any personal information in public that you wouldn’t be ok with everyone knowing about. 

- Don’t single out any groups, denominations or public figures unless you’re willing to stand right in front of them and say it.

- When you do tell personal anecdotes, don’t use anybody’s name or give enough info for people to figure out who it is unless you have the person’s permission.    

But the whole digital thing doesn’t just affect the people at the front- it’s the whole congregation.  Aside from people filming on their phones many churches are now live streaming services on the Internet and don’t always let you know. It’s often assumed that you don’t mind being filmed.

I think there should be a reasonable expectation of privacy that when I’m worshipping, that it’s just me and God and the people in that particular space- and that those intimate moments are not being broadcast. However, that’s not always the case.

I’m not against live streaming to bring the service to those who wouldn’t otherwise be able to participate, but I would appreciate the courtesy of being told ahead of time. Or maybe there can be a section of the church that will be the “not on film” section so you can go worship over there if your hair is ugly that day or if you don’t care to have your exact whereabouts known worldwide. Unfortunately, we can’t count on courtesy.

Personally, I think it’s better to protect the privacy and safety of the congregation in our crazy world and not film everyone without consent- just film the front if you want to film.

So, what do you think of all the live streaming? Did you ever find out you were filmed or recorded at a church service without knowing ahead of time? You can comment in the comments section down yonder.

 <Back to Home (118)

Over the last year I have been learning more about the Jewish holidays. It’s something I’ve always been interested in, but finally took time to start learning this year. The more I learn, the more I realize that understanding what’s happening on the biblical calendar is crucial to understanding scripture- not just the Old Testament, but also the New Testament. You will start to see why Jesus did and said certain things at certain times. Growing up in a modern church culture sometimes disconnects us from the 100% Hebrew cultural context of all of scripture.

Lately, a lot of Christians are getting into learning and connecting with the Hebrew context. Many churches are participating in Passover and teaching about the ancient Hebrew mindet. People are also getting more interested in the Land and are following what’s happening in the Middle East. More Hebrew classes are happening in churches and Bible study groups!

It is really hard and time consuming to learn a language. I’m starting to learn Hebrew and have finally memorized the letters and the sounds they make, but am still slow to sound out the vowel points. But I finally feel like I’m getting somewhere! Maybe someday I will be able to read the scripture in its original language. We’ll see if I can get that far.

I was recently looking up Hebrew alphabet (or aleph-bet) videos on YouTube and I stumbled across this one called, “The Hebrew Language is the DNA of Creation.” I was very intrigued by this lecture by Rabbi Mordechai Kraft. It’s about an hour and 17 minutes long.

You may or may not agree with everything in the video but he talks about the intrinsic meanings of words built into the Hebrew letters. In other words, each Hebrew letter has a meaning by itself. They also each have a numerical value. Put together each letter with it’s meaning into a word and the letters create a numerical and picture-story of the word. Fascinating! He specifically discusses the word “Adam” and how the word represents our identity as humans,  the word “Love,” and the word ”Marriage.”

If you are at all interested in Hebrew and you at least have a knowledge of the alphabet then this is for you! I think it will touch you on a spiritual and intellectual level if you have the time to watch.

<Back to Home Page (147)

Groundhog’s day evolved from a holiday called Candlemas Day, brought to Pennsylvania by German settlers, according to somebody else’s blog, which almost certainly makes it a fact.

So I looked up Candlemas day and found it to be just another ancient superstitious observance that, as usual, was eventually turned into a “Christian” holiday so that people wouldn’t feel guilty about still celebrating it. You know how it goes!

But I did find out there is a real Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania with a Gobbler’s Knob, and a real Punxsutawney Phil  groundhog just like the movie! And they really do celebrate and go through the whole thing to see if Phil sees his shaddow or not. If he doesn’t see it, it means an early Spring. But if he does see it, it means six more weeks of winter.

But according to the National Climatic Data Center, Punxatawney Phil is wrong a good bit of the time, which makes him a false prophet by biblical standards.

Ok, so there’s zero Christian roots to Groundhog’s Day. But I thought my blog post title was funny. There are some church customs that go with Candlemas day, if you’re inclined to look it up. (Obviously, it’s a Mass with candles. I’m sure you thought of that.)

But I do like the Groundhog’s Day movie cause Bill Murray is a funny fellow:

Happy Day!

<Back to Home Page (167)

I’ve been told that “entertainment” is not a biblical concept and therefore a complete waste of time, designed to take our focus away from reality.

Really? That’s no fun! I think being too serious is a serious condition. The scripture says laughter is good like a medicine and we’ve gotta laugh sometimes! Everything we do doesn’t have to have a specific spiritual or educational point. Our humor was created and it’s a gift. Our various talents are gifts. If we enjoy entertainment (as long as we’re not entertaining ourselves with evil things) aren’t we just appreciating each others’ God given gifts?

If God created us in His image and we have a sense of humor, He must have one too. But I do wonder… what is His sense of humor? Obviously it would be completely uncorrupted. We often laugh at things that are at someone’s expense, but what will we laugh at when our sense of humor is perfectly Holy? Can you even imagine?

We wouldn’t be boring, because we are designed to be creative. But in our humor we wouldn’t participate in sin, humiliate people, accuse eachother, be hateful, crude or laugh at calamity.

So what does that leave us?

Maybe pun humor! They say puns are the lowest form of humor, but maybe they are really the highest form of humor!

Q: What’s Irish and sits out in the summertime?

A: Paddy O’ Furniture!

and

Q: What’s Beethoven doing these days?

A: Decomposing

If you take out all the unrighteous humor, we might eliminate laughing at people’s embarassing moments, injuries, falling off trampolines, walking into glass doors, slipping on bannana peels, pranks, those awful auto-correct mishaps, and that woman who was txting and fell into a fountain.

Now, we could laugh at animals, but not if they get injured.

It would be unrighteous to laugh at this:

But fairly safe to laugh at this:

I’m kidding, of course.

Monty Python is often crude, but do you think the Ministry of Silly Walks or the Bicycle Repair Man sketch would get a pass?

There’s still misprints, mistranslations, irony, exaggerations, impressions, brutally honest children, and regular life happenings to laugh about.

for example:

 Jokes probably don’t make God laugh because He always knows the punchline before you even start. So any humor that relies on the element of surprise is out for God. But maybe He would enjoy the fact that we enjoy it, ha ha!

In conclusion: I think God definetly has a sense of humor and I’m sure He can make puns in every language! But I really don’t know what our sense of humor will be like when the Heavens and earth are restored. But I’m very curious to find out.

But for the road, here is one of my favorite routines from Bill Cosby, “Chocolate Cake.”

Now, tell me something funny

<Back to Home Page (183)

“Are you saved?” That is the question! (especially if you live in Georgia!) I don’t know what about me is so intriguing, but even people on the street have stopped me to ask me this question. I don’t even know these people; yet they are compelled! (You know I’m teasing a little, since I’m sure all of us in the South have been stopped and asked about our salvation status by a total stranger.) But for real- I do get asked about my testimony, so I figured I should go ahead and share my story.

When I was growing up, I never really heard the term, “saved.” I did grow up in a Christian home and I was taught the things that all Christian families teach their children: Jesus was crucified for the world’s sin; He was resurrected and is now in Heaven until He comes back. And most especially, “honor thy mother and thy father!” I don’t ever remember not believing those things. Of course, children naturally believe what their parents tell them. But nobody ever asked me, “Have you accepted Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior?” And no Pastor in my church ever said, “With every head bowed and every eye closed, please raise your hand if you know you’re a sinner and want to accept Jesus.” And nobody ever asked me if I died that night did I knew whether I’d be in Heaven or hell. That kind of thing just wasn’t part of the culture I grew up in.

But as I headed towards adulthood my spirituality became important to me personally- and I no longer believed things just for the fact that all the adults in my life said so. One of my family’s values was that questioning to learn the Truth for oneself is a good thing. As a teen I considered myself, “open-minded” and spirituality, religion and the supernatural were especially interesting to me. I was also a huge Beatles fan and had all of their albums, a stack of books, and the Beatles in their many phases looking down at me from the posters on my wall. I thought John Lennon was the greatest thing!

My dad gave me his guitar for my birthday and I started writing my own songs and learning how to play; even waking up early to play before school, then playing more after school- until my guitar became almost a permanent accessory! My mom said she saw a songwriter named, “Jewel” on TV and that Jewel reminded her of me! She bought me a Jewel CD and a book of her poetry. (And that was the very beginning of my musical career.)     

When I was 16 we moved to Georgia. (I was born in New Jersey but we took the scenic route to Georgia with a six year stop in Kentucky.) My mom thought I should go on a retreat with our church’s youth group to meet other students before I started my Junior year. I went reluctantly because I always thought youth group activities were so cheesy. I could never bring myself to do the hand motions for the “Awesome God” song- even if everyone else did them.

But during the 2^nd night of the retreat we had a night of prayer where the youth leaders prayed for each of us individually with their hands on our heads and shoulders. I had never seen prayer done that way before! When it was my turn to be prayed for, I literally felt God’s presence. It felt like a tingling heat over me, like I was burning, but without pain, and it was peaceful. I don’t know how else to describe it. When the prayer started I had been standing with my eyes closed, but when I opened my eyes I was lying down- but nobody had pushed me. I had never seen or heard of such a thing to that point, and I had zero thought or expectation for that to happen.

After that I was very excited to know more about God and I had a ton of questions! But I was also afraid because I had never had that kind of experience before. I wondered, “is this going to happen all the time? Was it a one time thing? Why doesn’t anybody at church ever talk about this? Why don’t we pray this way all the time?” But I wanted more of whatever it was! I started going to a prayer group and reading the Bible for myself. When I read the scriptures, it wasn’t just words, but it spoke directly into my being. And after that all my songs (with the exception of some silly ones) have been God songs. I didn’t decide one day, “I’m going to be a Christian artist” and when I write, I don’t have an agenda in mind. I just write what’s in my heart and whatever comes out comes out. All I know is that when I started seeking God, naturally my songs were all about Him.

From 16 all the way to now (29) I have been on a journey with God. I never had a specific moment where I said, “I accept Jesus,” because I always felt He was with me. But a lot of people have a testimony where they remember a specific moment they gave their life to God. My story is that I transitioned from being a child with a child’s faith to being an adult and deciding that God was important for me.  He is continually conforming my mind so I don’t think the same way as I did when I first started, but hopefully I am becoming more like Him as I go!

Now, If you talk about the Father or Jesus outside of church walls people call you religious. I suppose that’s fine if that’s how they understand it. I don’t consider having faith in Jesus a religion because I feel it is a way of living that comes out of a relationship with God. It’s a completely new life. It’s a Heavenly culture instead of an earthly one. And I feel connected to something very ancient- because the same God that created the universe and breathed life into Adam at the very beginning, is the God that knows me fully now. He knows my family history, my personal history, everything I’ve ever said or heard or felt- He knows the things that have hurt me, the things that motivate me, the things I wonder about, the things I struggle with and the things I hope for. And I have no doubt I will go to Him when this part of life is done. “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39 I believe a direct relationship was made possible through the Messiah, Jesus, who, as spoken of in the law and the prophets, took the sin of the world off of us and onto Himself- so that we would be able to go right into the presence of a Holy God who cannot, by His Holy nature, dwell with sin.

He is the motivation for my life and I have my eyes more on eternal things than on immediate things. It is never far from my mind that I will stand before Him and give an account for my life and I hope to not miss out on anything He has for me. I know earth culture thinks that is super weird! But that’s alright. If you have any convictions at all in life, somebody thinks you’re controversial- So I’d rather be on the good side of controversial.

 Anyway, that’s my story and I’m stickin’ to it! And I know you’ve got good stories too, so if you want to add your good stories in the comments you can!

Love,

Me

< Back to Home Page

  (233)